


Jay Isn't Dead

by evolsailor



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Corpses, M/M, Other, Please Don't Take This Seriously, Tim's Fuckin' Mad, dead bodies, this is a joke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 03:41:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11267208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evolsailor/pseuds/evolsailor
Summary: this fic is a fucking joke





	Jay Isn't Dead

To say that Tim was pissed was an understatement.

Ever was probably the most morally ambiguous person Tim's ever met. Their behavior was so bizarre, at first he was sure that they were under the Operator's control. Turns out, they're just a lunatic. He didn't think being a lunatic, however, meant being willing to glue googly eyes to a dead body, try to take it into a McDonalds, get kicked out of McDonalds, and then fly to Algeria when they ran into each other in the parking lot.

[tim]: EVER  
[tim]: EVER WHAT THE HELL  
[ever]: cant talk stuffing jay into my duffel bag  
[tim]: EVER THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND  
[ever]: convinced security he was a plastic dummy and snuck in, success fellas  
[tim]: THERES LITERALLY NO WAY YOU DID THAT.  
[ever]: [plane.jpg]   
[ever]: lol  
[tim]: i genuinely hope you die in a fiery wreck.

So, that's what got him in this position. Pissed off, insulted, and sickeningly frustrated. Most of those words mean the same thing, but it's 3 AM and he needs to rush to the airport and get a ticket, or whatever. Probably should have booked it online, but he could just do that in the airport. Oh my god, dude, how sick would that be? They wouldn't even know what hit 'em.

Tim arrived at the airport. He literally threw himself out of the car and ran in. He went up to the first desk he saw, and suddenly became aware of the fact that he looked like an escaped mental patient on the prowl. He was panting and disheveled, and either looked like he just had an orgasm or like he was about to start a riot. He was.

"I need to find out when flight 87 is leaving." Tim panted out. The woman behind the desk looked flustered and seemed unsure with how to deal with him. She had a right to be, Tim thought to himself.  
It took a moment but the woman (her name tag read "Shelby". Tim decided he'd hand Shelby a good wad of cash before booking it) finally looked at her computer and told him the flight just left. She started to say something about saying she was sorry that he missed his flight and saying that there was another flight to that same location leaving next week, but he shut her up by shoving a couple of $10 bills in her hand and muttering about treating herself. He decided she could buy some bows or hats to go with her brilliant magenta hair.

As Tim retreated back to his car, aware of the stares he was getting, he texted Mac.

[tim]: please get them under control  
[mac]: theres a lot of people i have to keep under control, please specify  
[tim]: the only person we know mutually, smartass.  
[mac]: what happened  
[tim]: do you want the long version or the short version  
[mac]: i wanna know what tf happened  
[tim]: ever glued googly eyes to jays body and shoved it into a duffel bag and is currently flying to algeria  
[mac]: HSBDBSJSJ I DIDNT THINK THEYD ACTUALLY DO IT  
[tim] THEY HAVE MY DEAD BOYFRIEND, MAC  
[mac]: OK OK OK I'LL TEXT THEM

Tim ran a hand through his hair and decided he was better at pretending he wasn't _as_ pissed off or insulted than he gave himself credit for. He tried to even out his breathing and succeeded somewhat.

He was going to punt Ever into the next dimension when they came back.


End file.
